George Burns Quotes❓

Sex at 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.—George Burns

Too bad that all the people who really know how to run the country are busy driving taxi cabs and cutting hair.—George Burns

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.—George Burns

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.—George Burns

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.—George Burns

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.—George Burns

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.—George Burns

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.—George Burns

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.—George Burns

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.—George Burns

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.—George Burns